I have become otiose.
In the guise of being productive, I allowed myself to avoid the persistent nagging of my ego by doing none of the things it was complaining about.
If I cannot win this game, I will not play.
I learned about things that seem important..
I tried to find some way to impress someone..
I avoided myself to avoid my shortcomings so I could avoid the petulant voice inside my mind.
I otiosely scanned the internet for important information about nothing.
I otiosely did half the dishes.
I did two loads of laundry that no one will wore and left the clothes they really want cleaned in the basket.
I called the tasks I did accomplish difficult so that I could fool the world into believing that I am living up to my inner potential.
Until I discovered how very lost I am.
I am the time that was lost to mindless research.
I am the half of the dishes that did not get done.
I am the laundry that was left in the basket.
I did not spend this time Learning to Listen Deeply, or develop a sense of The Self. I simply let go of hope and motivation to avoid disappointment.
It didn't work.
It is probably a good thing I figured that out. Maybe now I can be present in this moment.
Artist Block, creativity, Zencast
Eternal Wait - I finally quit fidgeting with this one. It is #graphite on 8.5x11 smooth bristol board. It is nice to get something to a finish. No matter where I roam in media, graphite will always be my true love. I will be taking this to #Shakedown3 this weekend if you want to see it in person. #art #artist #drawingvia Instagram
Toxic - This is a journal entry before words are added.The topic of toxic people has been coming up in many discussions lately. This is how I think it would look if you could make a visual image. This started as a simple form study and ended up as this. #journal #art #artjournal #selfcare #toxicpeople #getitoutofmyheadvia Instagram
Number 3 in my quest to complete #inktober2017 I started with an ink wash and then used my Microns to accent the details. This is definitely an experiment worth repeating. It reminds me of the interior illustrations in books when I was a kid It is #ink on #watercolorpostcard #art #artist #drawing #illustrationvia Instagram