I have become otiose.
In the guise of being productive, I allowed myself to avoid the persistent nagging of my ego by doing none of the things it was complaining about.
If I cannot win this game, I will not play.
I learned about things that seem important..
I tried to find some way to impress someone..
I avoided myself to avoid my shortcomings so I could avoid the petulant voice inside my mind.
I otiosely scanned the internet for important information about nothing.
I otiosely did half the dishes.
I did two loads of laundry that no one will wore and left the clothes they really want cleaned in the basket.
I called the tasks I did accomplish difficult so that I could fool the world into believing that I am living up to my inner potential.
Until I discovered how very lost I am.
I am the time that was lost to mindless research.
I am the half of the dishes that did not get done.
I am the laundry that was left in the basket.
I did not spend this time Learning to Listen Deeply, or develop a sense of The Self. I simply let go of hope and motivation to avoid disappointment.
It didn't work.
It is probably a good thing I figured that out. Maybe now I can be present in this moment.
Artist Block, creativity, Zencast
Eternal Wait - I finally quit fidgeting with this one. It is #graphite on 8.5x11 smooth bristol board. It is nice to get something to a finish. No matter where I roam in media, graphite will always be my true love. I will be taking this to #Shakedown3 this weekend if you want to see it in person. #art #artist #drawingvia Instagram
A closer look at the same pose. I notice that #art is a lot like writing. The rough sketch is the idea. The second sketch is like the initial edit. The more I draw the same #sketch the more solid the ideas become. I bet the pros know this, but I am just discovering the power of a redraw. #art #artist #sketchbook #drawingvia Instagram