Wednesday, November 08, 2006

What is your motivation Anna Sellers?

Bobby Chiu put out another Video. Todays topic is Motivation. Please go take a listen even if you don't read the rest of my blog entry.

I listened to this video right after getting the kids off to school. It is midnight and I am just now making an entry. The reason: I had no defined definition of my motivation. So here are some ideas that I have come up with as logical excuses.

I do art because I really hate laundry. My life doesn't really leave room for art. I have to make it. I am the mom of 6 kids and a husband. (Yes hes a kid too.) I toy with the idea of becoming famous accidently, but I am not holding my breath in hopes of being accidently discovered. My artistic goals are not wrapped around a financial end. With 6 kids and a husband, I have a lot of laundry to hate! Dishes come in a close second and I have no dishwasher.

I am preparing for retirement. When I get empty nest syndrome, it is going to be a huge shock. This is a pretty full nest. My imagination tells me that I am going to be putting clean clothes out of the closet into the washing machine and wash clean dishes that are in the "holiday stash" in July if I don't find something to occupy my mind.

I use art as therapy. Art is my stress reliever. I can get into the zone and block out the rest of the world. It is my meditation. It is my happy place. It calms me when I am worried or angry. It lifts my spirits when I am down and depressed. Art gives me comfort when nothing anyone can say is relieving. Art gives me an excuse to think about things that a normal person would believe to be absurd.

Art is my voice. At least I hope it will be. There are paintings in my head that I lack the skill to paint. There are stories in my mind that I want to tell. I have had many experiences in my lifetime that I cannot lend to words alone. Art is universal and speaks to people that do not understand english. I don't know a word of Italian, but I am moved by the art of many artists who's names end in a vowel. Though I don't seek fame, I do hope that someone out there sees something I have done and it speaks to them.

Art is my hope. I came from here to here With a little luck and a lot of hard work, maybe I can do something that resembles Cascade in thoughtfulness. My Maternal Instinct may not quite look like this, but I like this painting. When I am having a bad day perhaps I can take out my Artists Block like Jafabrit to return to a visionary period These are not dead people that are from some other century with some amazing genius that has been wiped out of all DNA existance. These are people that live and breath today that are inspired to share an emotion, idea or even belief with someone other than their own minds. There are so many more out there that it would take a page to list them all. I hope to join the ranks of those people. To do that I must learn and practice and read and try out what I read. Then read more and figure out why it doesn't work just to try it again and figure out how to make it work so that I can move on to the real reason I am motivated to do all this stuff.

My true motivation to keep improving my art is so I can make the art that is in my head. Who knows, once I get these paintings I have locked in my mind out on some form of canvas, paper or wooden panel, I will be done forever. I hate that I lack the skill to attempt the handfull of paintings in my head that have been there for years. Of course, the only way to really know that for sure is to do them in an acceptable manner that pleases me and see what happens.

So.. What is your motivation?


jafabrit said...

wow that was a really thoughtful post and a good read, and not coz you mentioned me LOL! I am going to have to come back and reread it and ponder on it.

my gosh six kids and NO dishwasher eeeeeeeek!!!!!!

Anna Sellers said...

It would be fun to hear your motivation!

Jessica Torrant said...

I love this network of creative bloggers - following subjects is like pulling a thread on an infinite sweater! Jafabrit's blog inspired me to do some eyes closed sketching the other night, now she has led me here, and I am thinking about that important stuff that must be thought about, but can often get put aside for other things. (I thought no dishwasher with 3 kids was tough!).

There was so much you wrote that I could relate to here. Similar perspectives on what moves you to create and what expectations you have from yourself. Some good pondering is in order for me too, now. Thanks for being a voice of inspiration!