Monday, November 13, 2006

Drawing closer.. The Artist's Way.

I am -> <- that close to getting ready to spray her down and move on. Some fiddling with that left eye (our right) and a bit of shadow work on that left hand (our right) and it will be time to move on. Once I spray her, the hard part is supposed to be over.

Artist's Way: A Spiritual Path to Higher Creativity

If any of you have read this book, then you will understand the following dialogue I had in my head.

Creative child: Wow.. Look at my drawing! I am really remembering how to do this stuff again!

Inner Critic: Mmmm... Yeah you sure are. You have fixed that right eye.. what? four times? Maybe more? It's still not right. You suck.

Creative child: Yeah, but look at the drapery. I love doing drapery!

Inner Critic: Ok, so if you chop off the head, the drapery can be the star of the show. Speaking of chopping off the head, I can't believe you put that up so high on the canvas. A frame is going to cause brain damage.

Creative child: Okay okay okay! It is too high. But do you see how adding the background makes her pop forward? I really like that. I will remember about the frame next time.

Inner Critic: You are not seriously considering doing another one are you? This one is not even done. Please don't tell me you are thinking of this as a success! You have yet to ruin this with paint.

Creative child: If at first you don't succeed, try and try again, right?

Inner Critic: It's not like this is original work you know. These are copies of someone elses work. What happened to "I want to be able to do my own original paintings".

Creative child: Well, if I try really hard on these, then maybe I will be able to do my own stuff even better!

Inner Critic: Oh good lord! You are a 40 year old woman with a demanding family. You don't have time to do all this foo foo painting stuff. Your family should come first. How many hours did you spend in front of that easel putting charcoal on, the wiping it off, the putting it back on that stupid drawing this weekend? I will tell you how many! So many you couldn't keep track!

Creative child: Okay okay okay, so I will do laundry and clean the house today. I will not touch it until tomorrow or later. I need to give my eyes a break anyway. Sheesh!

Inner Critic: Good! Because your family is getting tired of this already. It's one thing when you spend a couple hours, but this is ridiculous. You could have used your time to clean your house or do laundry or any number of things. Your irresponsibility is amazing... Just amazing.

Creative child: Well at least I have something to show for all that time unlike laundry and housecleaning where it just gets messed up again as soon as I do it.

Inner Critic: Admit it, you need to pack up your art supplies and put them away until your kids are all grown. In fact, chances of you becoming good enough to call yourself professional are slim to none, so maybe you should give your art supplies away along with a lot of other junk you have laying around here.

Creative child: I am not going to go away, you know, if that is what you are trying to do. You tried to get rid of me before and I just came back so maybe you just need to be quiet. I will fix the eye. I will do some laundry and clean up some of this messy house today. If I feel like doing another one, I am going to do another one. You are not the boss!

Inner Critic: Oh yeah? If at first you don't succeed..

Me: Hey you two.. SHUT UP!


jafabrit said...

Iloved reading your inner dialogue LOL! the drawing is fabulous.

Jessica Torrant said...

That was perfect! My how many of us can relate to that inner debate! I'm rooting for the creative child all the way. And in my heart of hearts, I think you're family ulimately wants you to be happy, and fullfilled, and that's what you are doing when you are creating. I'm sure out of the other members of your family, someone else can do the laundry one night while you paint, or do the dishes. It can be so hard to release responsibility from things like that sometimes, but it ends up being good for everybody when you can ask for a little help. (...just a few words of encouragement from a fellow, family oriented, female artist at war with my own inner critic!)

Love your blog!