This is not a new painting. I have been toying with this painting for years. I started this particular attempt back in November. I am doing this painting out on my north facing front porch, which is extremely relaxing. It mimics the peaceful atmosphere I am trying to achieve in this painting. In contrast, it is nice to have the reality of nature around me while I paint this very surreal idea.
A couple people have commented that this is pretty eerie. Hopefully as it begins to take on color and look more like I see in my mind, some of that will go away. It is hard to paint a cheerful graveyard, I suppose. I am usually a people pleaser. Comments like that have caused me to pull this one off the easel more than once. I don't really mind that some people will not like this. I am doing this one for me.
I usually have the end result I want pretty mapped out when I start a painting. Although I have references, I am mostly winging it this time. I have no idea what colors I will end up using. I have already moved and changed things around a bit and will probably continue to do so as I search for answers in paint. This is pretty therapeutic for me to be out of my comfort zone both in approach and subject matter. I am learning a lot about my own insecurity and artistic fears. I think once I get this painting behind me I will be a better artist in many ways. Working through, beyond and despite the negative reviews is going to be an accomplishment for me. Learning to just relax and paint without a stamp of approval is hard. Ironically, this painting is mostly about approval when I think about it.
I am playing around with titles for this. Hopefully the right name will come to me by the time it is done. So far I have "Motherly Advice", "Because I miss her" and "Just Ten Minutes". I doubt it will ever sell, but it would be nice to have a suitable name.
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